Wait upon the Lord

I guess i should get this down before i forget, or run out of tissues.

The whole time i have known Randy, he has been trying to teach me patience. My parents couldn't do it, my kids TRY my patients, but no one could teach it to me, until now.

Yesterday, after asking God and Randy why? why in the world are you holding on? How are you still here? your body is literally NOT functioning. WTF is what i said to myself on more than one occasion. the dr's and nurses were scratching their heads. on paper, Randy should have been gone a long time ago. all they could say is that he is a strong man. yeah, we know that... tell me something i don't know.

Pastor Dave did. He said "wait upon the Lord". really? there it is again. Patience. grrr!!!

The Lord gives you each breath, each minute. wait on HIM... ok. FINE!!!

since i am sick, i had taken some cold medicine and was ready for a nap. i said goodnight to everyone and cuddled up with Randy and Roxy. I started talking to God, thanking Him for teaching me a lesson that was long over due. Patience. Waiting upon the Lord is so hard. Randy literally spent his last breath teaching me that. As soon as my prayer ended, thanking God for Randy, for our lives together, and for the strength He has given us to wait upon Him, Randy took his last breath. literally. at that moment, his job was done. un fricken believable!

There's more to this story, lots more to put down on paper, but for now, that's all this heart can handle.