Sunday, March 27, 2011


i suck at it, but i now see my mistakes, and i plan on fixing it. this is gonna make a few of you guys cringe, those of you who's garden flourishes year after year, but i'm hoping that i can learn from some of you and do better next time.

so, every year, when i pot my flowers or herbs in the pots, i add some little stones to it to help
with drainage. i THOUGHT that i was doing the right thing at the time. come to find out, when the Redding temps heat up, those stones get hot and actually cook the roots, which in turn, kills the plants. this is actually true in our bodies too. when we have
stones in our "soil", nothing will grow, or stay alive for very long. the hardest thing to do is to sift through the dirt, pluck out the rocks and trust that God will drain all excess water away so that we don't drown.

I know that none of this probably makes sense to anyone, but it does to me, and that's why I write this blog. some of my posts are just to keep everyone up to date, but some of them are for me, as reminders of how much God loves me, even when i screw up. His love is so deep for us that He will constantly sift through my dirt until all the weeds and rocks are gone. He is way more diligent at it than i am. This year, no rocks in my garden!!!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Black thread...

life for me has never really been what i would consider easy, but it hasn't been as bad as some either. i have buried my best friend, father and husband, but not a child. i have had a few health issues, but am still alive. i have over indulged with food, alcohol and laziness, but i love veggies water and exercise as well. i have lost a lot of friends along the way, but keep meeting new and interesting people everyday to fill the gap. i have been overweight and depressed, and skinny but HUNGRY. i have known love, lost love, and found it again. i have said "goodbye" forever and "welcome back" to people in the SAME DAY! i have cried when i'm happy and laughed when angry. turned away when i should have helped, helped when i should have taught. i can only imagine how i look to people on the outside who don't truly know who i am. i love the example of the backside of a tapestry. from the back, i look messy, mixed up and confusing. God has used a lot of black thread to create my tapestry, but i think the next color is going to be bright and beautiful. what God sees from the front of my tapestry is a hint of black. it's not the main color. it is only the background to which He builds the rest of life's colors onto. when He created the earth, he started with dirt, THEN added flowers, trees, grass... a sunrise is beautiful because our eyes have been accustomed to the darkness. i know that there will still be some sunsets in my life. we can't close our eyes and pretend that the sun won't set, but we CAN have a couple of candles ready to help guide us through the darkness. my candles are my friends, family and pastors. thank goodness God created light in my life!