Friday, January 1, 2010

2010... so far, not impressed

i woke up with a very heavy heart today. there is so much hurt out there right now. well, i guess there always is, but it hits so close to home that it's almost unbearable. plus, because of financial reasons and the stupid high price of prescriptions, i have had to suddenly stop taking my "happy pills". (not that they make me happy, just keeps me from wanting to KILL myself) these are supposed to be weined off over a couple month period. yeah how bout 2 days? that's how long i had to adjust. come to find out, that's been the cause of my nerve pain. i feel like i'm being electrocuted every 20 seconds or so. it's been a nice few months without enjoying that sensation. oh well, welcome back my old friend.

my list of people to pray for had doubled almost over night. hopefully God excepts tears as a form of intercession. that and prayer is about all i've got. i know we're supposed to make resolutions today. i know that i won't be able to keep any, so i'm just going to go day by day, loving my family and friends and hopefully make a difference in this world. maybe i'll loose weight along the way, and become content with myself. and maybe JUST MAYBE, i can bring about world peace. LOL

i'll update everyone soon on randy's prognosis. we'll find out on the 18th if the tumors are all gone. (just mentioning that day makes my nauseous) he finished his last chemo in december. keep your fingers crossed. tears are flowing again, so i'm gonna say goodbye.

8 comments:

Annie said...

After going to pick up a new inhaler yesterday, and finding it to be over $200 (way out the price range for this single mom - but having lots of trouble breathing), I came home and went to the manufacturer's website. Lo and behold, I could print out a coupon for a month free, with huge discounts for future months. Have you checked the website for your script? I know that Pfizer has a program, as well as some of the others. Praying for your whole family, as always.

Carrie Schmeck said...

My dear, from one who also needs "happy pills" and who has also suddenly gone off of them before, I can tell you that the tone from which you write, you are on a "down." It is not reality. No, things may not be great, but they are not as gray as they look to you right now.

If you cannot get a prescription, look into vitamins D and B12.

After years of paying (or skipping) the $98/month, I found a brand that had a generic equivalent. Perhaps your doctor can help you find one, too. Life looks so much better now. :-)

Hang in there, Girl. Been there. Love to your family.

karen said...

What's the monthly cost for your "happy pills"?

kristyn miller said...

$497 a month... it's ridiculous. i have decided that even though it helped in the way that drugs are supposed to, i will be better off without them. i just hope people can hang in there with me until i get it all out of my system. i feel things again, good and bad. passion fills my body, good and bad. i just have to not react to things right now. i plan on keeping a distance from the people i love right now so i don't do or say something wrong. it's just temporary right???

karen said...

Boy, that is a spendy med! I'll pray that you get through withdrawing as smoothly as possible. May God's strength help you during this rough spot.

West Coast Scrapper said...

Kristyn I will soon be in this boat too....However, I can't stop taking mine...I have tried several times before...and I am just not well enough w/o them. However, I will lose my insurance once the divorce is final...I believe my prescriptions will be around $700-$900 per month...I'm not thinking about it for now...who knows what will happen...maybe my job will get insurance, maybe there is someway to keep me on his, maybe I can make them out in the shed (lol!). Anyway, girl i know how you feel, I quit cold turkey once after misunderstanding the DR....and I was in Hell! I hope you feel better very soon and you seem to be lucky with tons of support.

mary said...

TO your friend and her divorce, you can request to be left on his insurance. Contact his employer and ask nicely if this is something their insurance company can cover if it is court ordered. Then get the court order. Kristyn, your friends understand and love you. DOn't hid and pretend this is easy. It is not, we will carry you through this....Look at the manufacturers website and discount prescription plans. Research there is a way! You are in my prayers

kristyn miller said...

well, Mary i did some research and i'm not going to be going back on Cymbalta. i think they need to be honest with the side effects, and if anyone IS taking it and has to stop, to be SURE!!!! that they wean themselves off VEEEEERRRRRYYYY slowly. the nerve pain that goes with it is almost debilitating. Doing further research, there are herbs that will rebuild my nervous system, heal my bad kidney and help with depression, all in one herb. God knew what he was doing when he created all the plants of this earth.

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