i guess it's time for an update

i put this off a couple of days to digest it.
looking back over my "jam packed day on tuesday" i chuckled. at 7:45, once i was already dropped off at work, and had no vehicle, my phone alarm went off telling me i had jury duty. totally forgot because of the impossible week before. i'm thinking i got my summons the day before randy's surgery, so i spaced it. i was group 6 which is usually due up first. i panicked for a moment, then called a friend who made a call and made it all better. i happened to be on standby. WHEW! didn't mean to "not report for jury duty"...

so after the day continued, i got a call from randy. poor thing had his ct scan then went down to medi-cal, for 4 hours. i am usually the one to handle anything dealing with money for home or the business so he had no idea how to answer some of, well, MOST of the questions, so he came home frustrated and with a lot of homework for me to take care of. it also looks like we won't qualify, so this is a HUGE prayer request. i hate to think of the medical costs of this whole thing, but God is bigger than the people down at the county office. lets just say that day was an emotional roller coaster for both of us.

i just had to go to my last blog to see what day this was, then i remembered the rest of the day.
randy picked me up from work, we ran a couple of errands, got his staples out, voted, picked up the kids, and got the call. the results came back. (i found out more details last night, so i will combine these last two days). they found another "non-related" tumor on his adrenal gland. no big deal, just go in and remove it. (that was the dr's response, trying to keep me calm, since he saw my reaction to the FIRST time the surgeon told me of the OTHER tumor) so no big deal, he has another surgery, and if you're counting, that would put us @ 3... plus even more scars. no biggie. it was the words "unrelated" that got me. what does this mean, ANOTHER type of cancer?!?!? maybe i need to spend more time digesting.

but tuesday ended very well. i came home from running some errands and saw that randy's friends came over that evening and hung out and blessed us in a huge way. THANK YOU GADDY'S!!!!! we have great friends. then mr. cable came over for a couple of rounds of halo 3. i watched the voting results and went to bed. good end to a rough day. i will save the election results for another day.

a jam packed day

~go to work early
~randy has a ct scan this morning at 7:30
~then medical applications later this morning
~off work @ 2, get kids off the bus and to auntie wendy's
~go to get staples out @ 3. i'm sure randy will do better at this than me
~deep breath...
~get kids, dinner, homework, laundry...
AMENDMENT: (just got a text), post office then tommy's, and hopefully the bank, somewhere in there, but before 4.
~THEN relax time. hopefully. :)
right. this should make the day go by fast.
OH WAIT! i still have to vote!!!
sheesh.

verified, but still nothing.

it IS chondrosarcoma. that we do know. but they don't know what to do with it.
it is a bone cancer, but not in the bone. they have no idea what stage, so the prognosis is up in the air. i guess chemo and radiation are in affective, so that means we get to find another way of getting rid of it. their answer is another surgery to make sure they got it all the first time. but their way of making sure of that, is to remove up to 2 inches of healthy tissue surrounding the tumor, which could mean taking off more than we want. we have decided to cross that bridge when we get there. there's plenty of decisions to make today.

first things first, he has a full body ct scan on tuesday. then they will remove the staples. and hopefully he will be more comfortable. i'm trying to find stuff that i "need" done on monday so he can rest just a little longer, but i'm afraid he will see through that. maybe some fresh air will be good for him. plus we get to make a fun trip to Stanford to meet with a specialist down there. i need to get map quest rolling so i can figure out where Stanford is. all these years, i thought it was in Connecticut... road trip anyone?

a little more info, but not much...

we found out today, that by God's Divine planning, Randy was able to keep his arm. i guess in other situations, or operating rooms, the dr. would've had to come out and ask for permission to remove the limb and shoulder since they would have to remove about 2 inches of good tissue around the tumor to prevent regrowth. the anesthesiologist commented to the dr. that he was shocked they had done this surgery as an outpatient procedure. that is proof that they didn't know what they were getting into before the surgery, but also proof that God is in control of all situations. we saved a heck of a lot of money in the meantime...

this emotional roller coaster is trying to tear us apart, but by God's grace combo'd up with all the super hugs and prayers, we make it through each day. i think fatigue is starting to set in. we were however able to find the perfect costumes for the kids tonight, and are able to keep some normalcy for them. one victory for the Miller's!!

we should know more next wednesday, staples are being removed on tuesday, and the dr's are leaning to it being "chondro sarcoma". that changes almost everyday though, so don't bank on it being the same in the end. it is however a bone cancer, they know that for sure, although it is not in his bones. bizzare. good news, no bone marrow surgeries!!!

goodnight.

o.k. here's some more pics...

no news is good news?

randy seems to think so. me, personally... i think it sucks. sorry.
i guess whatever this particular cancer is, or should i say "tumor", since they are now hopeful that there's still a slight chance that it's benign, ( i REALLY hope so), but am tired of having the rug pulled out from under me, so i will stay neutral, is too rare to understand, so they sent it to harvard to decipher. that was a long sentence. anyways, we have to wait a few more days. if it means it comes back as not being cancer, i will wait the rest of my lifetime. this waiting game is killing me. i still feel so blessed to have everyone rallying around us.

as i said a few days ago, the raw nerves would enter in, and they have. i feel like i can cry at the drop of a hat. i think a lot of it is sleep deprivation. there's so much going on other than this and it's getting hard to keep up. plus... i feel like a wienie. on sunday, we took his dressings off, i have pictures i will post as soon as i find my camera again. but it really shocked me how big and gnarly they were, and i felt a little sick. i think my helper was a little shocked too. so we put new bandages on, and i thought it was just shock that made me feel that way. NOPE. last night i had to keep leaving the room so i wouldn't throw up. it must be because i love him so much that it REALLY bothers me. i usually have a strong stomach for these things. oh well, maybe i'm slipping in my old age...

Brotherly love...

this is the best medicine: a room decorated with love notes from your daughter, a great friend to watch a movie with, and a little punkin to snuggle with. AWSOME!