i decided today, to go on the hunt for something that my sister and i had growing up. it was this amazing beef jerky made with red pepper flakes on them. We would ride our bikes down to a store by our house and grab a stick of it for .99 and a dr. pepper. if we were lucky, we'd get some m&m's too, but we didn't usually have enough change. it was the PERFECT beef jerky. haven't had it in a long time. i was thinking earlier today that it had only been 10 years since i lived there, until i was was reminded ever so gently, that i'm not 22, but almost 32... guess that's what friends are for.
so anyways, i drive by our old house that we grew up in. it has changed so much. i was really sentimental, since that is the house we lived in when my dad got cancer. there are still things there that he built and somethings that are gone, but a lot of memories flooded back and i drove on. i pull up to the store where we'd pass every day going on a family walk, where Randy taught me how to drive, and we're my sis and i would go every summer for our treat. IT'S NO LONGER A STORE! i felt so sad.
it's just beef jerky, but for me it was a connection to my past and i was really craving holding on to a little bit of it for a day. so i took a deep breath and got back into the truck. my next mission, buy randy a meal from a restaurant that i guess doesn't carry what they show on commercials. i won't mention the name of the place, but for the second time today, i was defeated.
i guess when you grow up, you have to let go of the past, as trivial as it may be and find new things to fall in love with. there are times that i would like to go back to that old house we grew up in, see my friends that grew up there with me and have now passed away, go back before my dad had cancer and sit on my bed and eat beef jerky and dr. pepper with my sister, but then i wouldn't have my life that i do now, and share the things i do with my family and good friends. i am now looking forward to finding out what it is that my kids will look back on with fond memories (and buy up a lot of stock in it so i can give it to them when they get older).
whether it is a glass of wine with your loved one, an ice cream cone with your kids, or just a cup of coffee with your mom, enjoy every moment that you have with them, because time does move on and we can't hold on to it forever outside of our hearts.