ahhh

so i spent the majority of the weekend outside. spent time with the kids separately, got some fresh air, and finally got to hang with a good friend. plus we partied a lot this weekend. randy hasn't felt so hot though. not cancer related. but he did have fun too.

this is going to be a busy week. i have 3 houses to clean, one counseling appointment, 2 dr's visit's (one in Stanford.... ROADTRIP!) dinner with Jer and Meg, a birthday party Saturday for Randy, then Superbowl to round out the week. It seems like i'm forgetting something. hmmm. if you know something i don't, please tell me.

maybe i should go do laundry NOW, so we don't run out mid week. sounds like a plan.

have a great week friends.

up yours Satan!

Totally just realized something odd. In this last year, 3 AWANA workers from NCR have gotten cancer. Dave- Director (we miss you), Darryl- leader and Director's husband, and Randy-leader and Director's husband. What this tells me is that obviously there was something we were all doing RIGHT and Satan didn't like it! Not wanting to piss him off right now, but taking out our men doesn't mean that you will defeat Gods women. You are actually making us stronger. I lift up Donna in her mourning and Rahna and I in our fight! We win no matter what. When will he figure that out? I'm so on fire right now. Time to fortify my armor. Where's my bible? oooh. it is soo on!

This is a friends post...

http://warkymom.blogspot.com/2010/01/power-of-supernatural.htmlThank you Erin for you faithfulness...

(and to our other friends who won't let us give up!!!)

so some stupid family jokes...

so we've had this cat Angel since we were newly dating. she is now 15. For YEARS now we have been waiting on her to die. Randy gets mad at all the cat hair on his clothes in the garage and having to feed her etc... so on Monday, he looks at her through the glass door and says "that fuckin cat is gonna out live me". maybe you had to be there, but it was funny.

also his 39th birthday is Feb. 9th, so he says he really WILL be 39 forever...

and then tonight, Rivers surprised us with the COMPLETE dessert selection. i mean COM...PL...ETE, every dessert they had. (banana's foster and the creme brule' were the best. so when i tried the creme brule', i scooped up a bite for Randy, and grabbed his face and told him, "you HAVE to try this, it's to die for". he did laugh but i will never ever say that again. EVER!

plus, we racked up a pretty hefty bill tonight. not gonna say how much, but once again, foot in mouth, i had to say " well, you have to do that at least once before you die..."

i don't think i'm allowed to speak again.

GET IN THE WORD!!!

OK GOD I HEAR YOU!!!

sheesh. Thank you God for the scriptures so that i can "learn".

this is really stupid, but if you've seen Avatar, which is UNBELIEVABLE, you may understand what i'm saying. This morning God told me "I see you" and i cried and said "i see you too". it's more than just looking at God or the word, which i now understand the verse in John that says "¹In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."

when i read the word, i SEE God, just as he sees me. and as the movie explained, it's not just seeing someone on the outside, but more on the inside down to their soul. so anchoring yourself in the word, gives you a front row seat looking into the heart of God. that i believe is what keeps us in the "in-between" of being a word church and a spirit church. God is spirit AND word. it says so.

Conor has the faith of, well, a child

This evening, it all sank in for Conor. He started asking questions like : "why can't they do more chemo", "what else can we do" and my favorite, with tears in his eyes and a very serious tone "if laughter is the best medicine, then you just need to laugh more". Talk about stabbing us in the gut with the sharpest knife possible! SUCKY! We ARE going to be putting them into counseling ASAP. Medi-cal finally agreed to it a year later.

Thank you Gaddy's for such a great dinner, and keeping some normalcy in our lives. It may have hurt Randy to remember the good days of his past, but there's no reason that we can't still be optimistic and enjoy your family as our future.

SHIT!

that's all i can say. his old tumors have come back and there's a new one that decided to join the group. it's just a matter of time unless God decides to just be super cool and heal him. That's all i can write right now. i can't answer any questions. The dr. was crying too much to tell us much more.