Wednesday, April 7, 2010

so many thoughts

life in itself is so hard. there's things you can't control like the economy, sickness, natural disasters, the weather... so many times did i pray for it not to rain, but alas i would end up sitting on the couch worrying about randy's cancer listening to the news about another earthquake and the lack of help because no body can afford to aid yet another natural disaster, as it pours outside and the hail blankets the ground enough to make you think it was snow. these things we can't control. all we can do is try not to worry and know that we are in God's hands during this predestined life He has for us. I believe in providence. I believe that this life is not meant to be easy. I believe that we learn as we walk through life, we make mistakes, others will hurt us, we will do some things right but in the end, God is the goal.

there are however, things we can control like the people who we surround ourselves with, choices we make, and whom to trust with our hearts. we need to love and be loved. that is our commandment. LOVE. that's what the Stirring stands for. We love. We make disciples. unfortunately life still crashes into to these choices we feel that we are in control of, but that just leads us to another choice: do you continue to trust, love unconditionally, stand firm in what you feel is right? for me, i will choose to love. thankfully i have a Father who shows me this example daily. no matter what, He loves, so therefore, so should I.

My job is not to condemn, but to lift up. Not to crush, but to heal. have i made mistakes by hurting someone, when i should have put my armor around them? of course. it's human nature. that said, being human doesn't give me a free pass to continue on. my words have hurt too many times to count, but thankfully we have a God of restoration and healing. He has helped to restore broken relationships, broken hearts and broken spirits. This is where i choose to stand...

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18


3 comments:

mary said...

I learned something tonight, "A people whoar ecaught up in their own little story will never be willing to lay themseleves down as stepping stones for others. It is not about us...But God in us...for the benefit of others"
imagine the world if everyone thought this way and was a willing stepping stone for those around them? We all make mistakes and I for one am glad that God forgives, we all should. You are an inspiration to many, thank you for your honesty and friendship

Glenn R Stose said...

Hi Kristyn, I don't know how many times I started writing these words for you but I believe this time I'll just step out in faith and believe you won't think me some kind nut? All my life I have hurt people with words and deeds. Sometimes on purpose sometimes by just walking away without explanation. I accepted the Lord in 1979 and turned away from Him, the ministry He had begun in me and the sisters and brothers who had come to know and love me. With total disregard for all this I began turning away in 1982 and left it all behind by 1990. Having done this God never left me or forsook me. He still loved me as He always had. He was always near. In October, 2009 God sent our Good Shepherd to return me to the flock. I fought Him because I was embarrassed and ashamed by what I had done. My pride just wouldn't allow it. But finally in Feb 2010 with many hours and days of tears and praying for forgiveness from Jesus and all those I had hurt and disappointed, I surrendered. Something I realized I had not done in 1979. On March 7th Jesus began restoring me to the flock who with great Grace on their parts welcomed me back. So if you think you have hurt many with words and deeds, I have hurt many more and yet I am being forgiven and have been forgiven. As I left church today I thanked the Lord for the freeness and lightness I was experiencing as He lifted more of the burden from me. "Why don't you let Me carry that for you" He said! Love in Christ to you and your family. Give everyone big hugs for me. Tell Gillian I still weep like a baby when I watch her talk about her dad. Glenn

kristyn miller said...

Glenn, i am so VERY happy for you and thankful for your faith to share your story. The sermon that always comes to mind is the "prodigal chlld". for a long time i could see how the "good child" would be upset, always doing right, wanting to be rewarded for his faithfulness. I can also understand the reaction of the Father welcoming back the other, because as a parent, you would want them in your life no matter what. one thing i think i look over a lot is God's faithfulness, HIS goodness and righteousness. Thank goodness we have those arms to run back to!