leaving it all behind

i felt the spirit of God crash into me yesterday harder than i ever have before. i am so thankful that He was gentle. i understand why He won't allow us to see Him visually, because i don't doubt we would just burst into flames. i was at church, minding my own business, looking forward to watching Kelly get baptized, and i ended up getting a backstage view, as i found myself standing right behind her, getting ready to get in myself.

as soon as Pastor Dan said, "i feel like someone here, who hasn't planned on getting baptized, will be joining us today..." my whole body got extremely hot and i started shaking. i tried to explain to God that i can't be baptized in a white shirt, totally un-prepared, having no change of clothes or a towel. He had other plans. I even tried to do a U turn and head out the front door, but my legs just wouldn't work, so i put my head down and walked up to Dan, put my hand on his shoulder, he gave me a knowing look and directed us up the stairs to the baptismal pool. Randy and Gillian were right behind me for support. We watched as several others were dunked, and all i could think about is something Amy had said a couple of months ago, "stop running". God has told me for a long time, "meet me by the water". Never knew what He meant until yesterday.

So there i stand with Nate looking at me with a puzzled look on his face, and i walk into the water to meet God. It was time to stop running. Time to leave it all behind and take the plunge so to speak. I felt something physically change inside of me as i came out of the water. It's not a feeling i can explain, so i won't even try. I turn around to find a towel, and i see my little girl literally ripping her top shirt off getting ready to get in herself. Randy's right behind her to pray over his girl along with Nate, and she gets baptized herself. 3 minutes later, we're all three standing backstage, soaking wet and cold and i finally felt complete and whole for the first time. I went back and forth between tears and laughter. It's an amazing feeling to know that when i met God by the water, i set my self apart for Him and am now able to leave my old self behind. I will never forget this Easter. EVER!