weird...

i feel like i woke up in the twilight zone.
i guess i fell asleep around 9 last night, or so i was told.
i felt drugged or just extreamly tired from such a long week.
i woke up @ 5am, then dozed back off for a couple of hours,
and that's when the weirdness starts.
there is already some crazy things going on during the day, but then it meshed perfectly with my dream cycle and so now i'm not sure what's real and what's not.
i hope that i figure it out before i yell at people for things that didn't really happen :)

day 2

i went through most of the day like a slug. i must admit it was nice. i even fell asleep on the couch around 7 o'clock, just to wake up in a panic realizing that i haven't read with the kids or gotten their clothes ready for school tomorrow. so i checked a few things off my list and tucked them into bed, and was mentally preparing myself for tomorrow. then jeremy came over to check out a project that randy is working on with him. that set "day 2" in motion for me.

the three of us had a great conversation. at that moment i was thankful for my cat nap the hour before. i certainly got my second wind. God showed up again and turned up the heat for me a little more. i thought i was done, that God had given me a day off to digest the previous nights revelations. NOPE! long story short, i got the courage up to talk to randy about some things that are on my heart. i even shared with him some of my blog. it's funny, even in marriage, Satan has a way of separating us from the ones who we should be able to trust our hearts with the most. we chuckled as we talked for a couple hours because we were both afraid to talk to each other about God.... really?!?! wow.

anyways, i've written enough for tonight. but change is coming for the miller's because that's how we roll. we never do the conventional thing, hence randy joining a band in his middle 30's, and our daughter having pink hair. I LOVE IT when we are walking with God. it is way more exciting than anything else this world has to offer.

be prepared for Him to answer when you ask.

i say, "God, talk to me face to face". so He knocks me on my a@#!
there's no night time fairy tale story of love and princesses and unicorns that may inspire john roger. no, God shows me the weight of the sadness and destruction of the earth and man kind.
what the?

i can't think of the name of the movie, but it was probably from the early 90's, and there was a point in the movie that the character sees the past, on tape, that he had missed for some reason, and is blown away and very saddened. i feel the same way right now, but it's for all of mankind...NOW!
i now realize that i have been sitting on my laurels and not doing much to help my community these last few years. He has upped my awareness of not only the distant future of our world in the hands of our children, but now, more for the young adults that are shaping, and VOTING our way into the future.

i have never been one to voice my opinion on politics, ever. i have always voted, but then merely watched as the majority vote took over and reined for 4 years at a time. today, i actually prayed for God's will for the future president, and He opened my eyes to something i can't yet put into words...

i have always been a HUGE fan of the book of revelation. not sure why, but i'm starting to think it's because God is using that to shape my future ministry. wow. where would that fit into 'the stirring'? it scares me to think of leading the "left behind" group. PLEASE GOD DON'T LET THAT BE ME!!! i just got chills...

anyways, day 1 for me has been a whirlwind of info, and it will take some time to digest all that is being sent my way. i need a journal...

will God still love me when He see's me face to face?

???
we shall see.
the journey begins...

well, it's over.

or just beginning depending on how you look at it. the swim season ends and the cleanup begins.
the BBQ was fun. a lot of food remains in the frig. that should be a welcomed sight for randy when he gets home. maybe it will make up for the green pool. thank goodness for chemicals.

so to re-cap yesterday's festivities, we have my sis and her family here for the weekend, lots of close friends, all of our extended family, lots of meat, pasta, chips and YUMMY salsa, half empty juice boxes, glass bottles of numerous shapes and colors, one very sticky patio floor, sunburned shoulders, 2 loads of wet towels, (didn't know we had so many towels), an arsenal of toy guns, smiling faces, great conversations, and definitely some fun times...

i am almost ready to transition into the fall. who knows, there might still be time for a little more fun before we hang up our suits for the year.

last weekend of our summer...

i am growing more and more anxious as the day goes on. i can feel it welling up inside of me, and i'm trying VERY hard not to take out my 'feelings' on others. as i was showering, (that happens to be the only time i ever get to think strait), i realized that it's not because i am going to have a house full of people tomorrow, not the fact that it will cost a big chunk of change to feed those said people, or the mess that will follow from having company all weekend. it's not having to pack up my mother-in-laws things to ship to her. it's not even that my kids are starting school again on monday. it's the fact that once they start school, i will have to be a grown up again, and help provide for this household. it's not "all on me" since randy works too, but it's working AND running the kids around AND doing homework AND the housework AND grocery shopping AND all of those things that you can take at a leisurely pace during the summer months. august is always a time of transition. the difference is, this time, i feel the gravity of it before it all starts.

i will focus on all of those good things that God is throwing our way, including quality time with friends and family, good food, the chance to shop at costco for the first time in a few months, someone ELSE teaching my kids phonics and the fall just being around the corner, since that happens to be my favorite season. i think i will have a cup of coffee, and then get going... i will post some pics of our weekend at some point i'm sure.

well, i did it...

i "slammed the door on the face of the world", for the weekend at least...

as my daughter sits on the couch with an ice pack on one leg, one on her eye, and chewing on ice to stop the bleeding, i declared "ONCE DADDY GET'S HOME, NO ONE IS LEAVING THIS HOUSE!" (no one can enter either since there is flu germies floating around, and i'm out of bleach). but anyways, i'm not sure if i was weak or strong, but the walls are built and no one can get in for the weekend. we need to re-group and do some serious praying and strengthening of the miller household again.
hope to see you on sunday.