so to stay positive...

i have an opportunity to begin again, anew. instead of saying i am now unemployed, i can say i am available to accept a new position at a new business. i have 5 offers at the moment, so i will pray about it and make the right choice for what works for my family. i still feel God calling me out to follow a dream or two. at this point in my life, i have a feeling that my dream job is one that involves me being my OWN boss. one thing i have learned from working for someone else is that i am a leader, not a follower. that is how I was created. i am thankful that God is always there standing behind me and calling me out.

when everything seems dark, He is there. this has been a pretty dark week too, i'm not gonna lie. the veil has been pulled back and peoples true thoughts of me have been revealed. on paper, i look like an emotional, hot headed... weak woman, but in reality, i have never been stronger. don't let my tears fool you. nothing worth it's weight in gold comes easy. life reminds me a little of childbirth. it hurts like hell, feels like the end of the world at times, but then in the end you have a sweet baby in your arms and the pain fades away in the background. i'm patiently awaiting the end of this painful period in my life. i do have a handful of friends to help keep me focused. i have a family that loves me no matter what. i even have two little doggies who try to lick my tears off my face when i come home broken.

it's funny the way life works out. i am going to hold tight to the people i love. i will stand in my truth. and i will never question God about "why" things happen, because the answer will always be the same. He brings all things together for my good. He turns up the heat if i don't seem to be listening. I am free to make my own choices, but He is faithful enough to shine the light on what He feels is right for me. it's like He says, "kristyn, see the light? go get it". i could choose to walk the other way, but let me tell ya, it feels pretty damn good to choose what's right, even if making that choice is super hard. in life, you can't phone it in. you have to get out there, do the hard things and push yourself to be better. i actually like the pain because it reminds me i'm alive and that if it hurts, its probably the right choice!