no news is good news?

randy seems to think so. me, personally... i think it sucks. sorry.
i guess whatever this particular cancer is, or should i say "tumor", since they are now hopeful that there's still a slight chance that it's benign, ( i REALLY hope so), but am tired of having the rug pulled out from under me, so i will stay neutral, is too rare to understand, so they sent it to harvard to decipher. that was a long sentence. anyways, we have to wait a few more days. if it means it comes back as not being cancer, i will wait the rest of my lifetime. this waiting game is killing me. i still feel so blessed to have everyone rallying around us.

as i said a few days ago, the raw nerves would enter in, and they have. i feel like i can cry at the drop of a hat. i think a lot of it is sleep deprivation. there's so much going on other than this and it's getting hard to keep up. plus... i feel like a wienie. on sunday, we took his dressings off, i have pictures i will post as soon as i find my camera again. but it really shocked me how big and gnarly they were, and i felt a little sick. i think my helper was a little shocked too. so we put new bandages on, and i thought it was just shock that made me feel that way. NOPE. last night i had to keep leaving the room so i wouldn't throw up. it must be because i love him so much that it REALLY bothers me. i usually have a strong stomach for these things. oh well, maybe i'm slipping in my old age...